Gates writer explores psyche of those waiting on loved ones at war

GATES – He was a self-described "military brat" and her father did civilian work for the government. That's how it came to be that Ian and Kristen met while both attended high school in Germany.

Their relationship survived moves, long separations, a demotion to "just friends" after she dumped him – "I was 17!" she offers earnestly, by way of explanation. And then there was the whole "Iraq" thing.

"That was really poor timing on his part, to go to Iraq," said Tsetsi, in a bit of black humor.

Ian, 32, was deployed to Iraq in February 2003, right after the pair decided they were going to make a go of it as a couple, for good.

"It's scary to think the person you've been waiting for could die before you got the chance to be together," Tsetsi said.

Ian, currently a captain in the Army ROTC at Rochester Institute of Technology, served 11 months as a helicopter pilot with the 101st Airborne Division in Ft. Campbell, Ky. It's the same group that got Saddam's sons Qusay and Uday, although Feyk wasn't on that mission.

"We saw the beginning of the insurgency," he said. "They started doing IEDs (improvised explosive devices) and all that stuff. Now, it's probably a little bit worse."

While Ian was in Iraq, Kristen , 32, found herself wishing for a resource – something that proved she wasn't alone or crazy for feeling the things she did.

"The collections of anecdotes on the market only told me someone else's stories, and usually, they were too brief," she said. "Most of the stories were about how to handle single parenthood or PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder,) or they were manuals on where to get up-to-date information. I didn't want any of that. I didn't want training."

It turns out what Tsetsi wanted was a literary companion – a fictional counterpart she could follow from beginning to end. Finding nothing, Tsetsi – an accomplished writer and former English professor – set out to create that character and that experience herself.

The result is "Homefront"... . It's available through numerous online booksellers, including Borders, Barnes and Noble Booksellers and Amazon.com for $16.94.

It took Tsetsi more than year to write the book. She started about a year after her husband came home.

"I want it to really tell what it's like," she said. "You feel very, very isolated. You can't share that pain, really. You can't give it to someone else and have them really feel what it's like."

The couple finally married in June 2005.

The cover of the book is a picture Tsetsi took herself of an Alabama field. She points out the photo's use of darkness and light and how the whole thing creates the impression of "rising toward hope."

"You look out the window every day and see everyday stuff and you have no concept of what everyday is," Tsetsi said. "It's so hard to imagine that it's happening right now... Any second, while I'm taking my next sip of coffee, any second, he could be shot down. It's constant. You don't let go of it for a second."

The book, of course, is dedicated to Ian.

"I love it," he said. "Not just because she's my wife. I read it and I was like, 'This is a good book!' I tell people, 'try to forget I'm her husband and listen to me, 'It's really good!'"